


End of Days

by leoben



Category: Oobi, Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Gen, Violence, odd anatomy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-25 16:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/955348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leoben/pseuds/leoben
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crossover of Oobi with Supernatural.</p><p>The apocalypse has happened and Uma may be the only one to stop it. Featuring Uma, Randy, Grampu, Crowley, and Lucifer. Possibly one-sided Crobby as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Uma Hunter

**Author's Note:**

> **If you don't know what the heck Oobi is, check this out: http://youtu.be/sstx34V35dQ?t=31m5s  
> The part I linked to is an episode with Randy, Grampu, and Uma. Each episode is only like 10 minutes long.
> 
> Also, if you want to know where the inspiration for this crack came from, check out: [Babysitter](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgWs2YJqSh8)
> 
> If you don't want to watch all that, just know that Oobi and company are talking hands that don't like to use conjunctions and speak in third person.

One day, after class was out, Grampu never arrived to pick Uma up. She waited an hour with her teacher before Randy finally drove up to the school doors, ushering her inside. He explained to her that they were in danger and need to leave immediately, his eyes wide and frightened as he tried to calm Uma down.

When they got home, she, Randy, and Oobi packed up quickly and fled to a cabin outside of town. It had been left to Grammu after Great-Grampu died. Randy explained to the children that the world was having big troubles and they needed to “pretend like caveman” to survive. 

Uma had no idea what was going on. She clutched her doll as she asked Randy what was happening, but he would just repeat himself: “Time, Uma. Time now.”

When Uma thinks back on that day now, there is only one thing she remembers. She is sitting in the backseat of the car, watching the trees wave their branches languidly at her. She thinks she sees Mrs. Johnson, but she is bloodied and creeping her way across the desert sand. Uma blinks and she has disappeared, but a man strikingly similar in appearance to Grampu is standing in her place, a long gun in his hand.

After time, Uma filed it in her memories under 'dreams,' though she always had doubts that what she saw was only an illusion.

=========================================================================

Uma learned how to use a dagger very quickly and was taught by Randy how to stay hidden in the shadows; after several years, she was fairly skilled in hunting and scavenging forgotten corpses. Her brother, Oobi, was more adept at espionage, and would often bring back valuable information to the team, informing of the enemy's plans and possible locations where they could find supplies.  
Unfortunately, Oobi was killed by a rogue demon while on a mission to learn of future attacks against innocent hands.

He was 13 years old. 

 

**One year after Oobi's death: 10 years after the apocalypse**

Uma was down in the sewers again, picking through the bodies in the hopes of finding something profitable. Lately her efforts had been far from worthwhile, and she had to resort to pulling out teeth. The process, which was fairly gruesome as she had to slit open the skin to get access, wasn't exactly fun and games.

“Psst. Uma.” A hoarse voice whispered in the dark.

Uma whirled around, pulling her knife out of the sheath on her belt. “Who there?” 

A figure slowly emerged from the shadows. Uma blinked slowly and grinned before rushing over and grabbing it.

“Grampu! Grampu back!”

Grampu chuckled and stroked Uma's hair. “Grampu come back. Always.”

Uma squeezed her eyes tight and gripped the back of Grampu's jacket before pulling away. “Where Grampu been?”

Grampu shook his head and rested his hand on her knuckle. “Long story. Uma Grampu leave. Now.”

Uma nodded. “Uma cabin. In woods.”

Grampu interrupted her by holding his pinky up, his eyes twinkling.

“Grampu surprise for Uma. Grampu take Uma to Grampu's place. Let's get Uma's things.”

Uma frowned. She had many questions for her grandfather, the first being “where Grampu these years?” And if he has a place of his own, why hasn't he tried to contact Uma and Randy before?

Grampu chuckled, sensing the young hand's confusion. “Answers in time, Uma.”

=========================================================================

Uma and Grampu rode back to the cabin on Grampu's Super Cub. Uma looked out for monsters for the first few minutes, but ended up staring hard at Grampu's knuckles. There was even less hair there than usual, a testament to the years that had passed and to the difficulties that he must have faced in that time. She closed her eyes, trying not to think of monsters chasing her Grampu. He had been all alone this whole time. At least she had had Randy--and Oobi, if just for a while. 

Grampu parked near the decrepit mailbox and helped Uma off the motorcycle. He looked up at the cabin and smiled wistfully.

“Grampu ever tell Uma about Grammu?”

Uma shook her head, wondering if this was the proper time to be reminiscing.

Grampu glanced back at his granddaughter before turning back to the house. 

“Grammu...lovely. Golden hair. Kind smile. Smart as whip.” He chuckled and ruffled Uma's hair. “Like Uma.”

Uma's heart tightened at the anguish in his voice. She waited patiently for him to continue, listening to the leaves blowing against the cabin's siding.

Grampu's voice sounded unnaturally loud after the few moments of peace. “Grammu killed.”

Uma looked up, only somewhat surprised by the news. She wondered when murder had become so mundane. Or when had she stopped caring. 

“Vagabond shoot Grammu. Double barrel.” His eyes went dark. “Blood everywhere. Flesh. Bone.”

Uma grabbed Grampu's fingertip and squeezed it hard. “It's okay, Grampu. Grammu happy now.”

Grampu opened his mouth and shut it again quickly, shaking his head. 

“Take Grampu inside, sky turn dark soon.”

 

Uma hammered on the cabin door in a complicated rhythm before hearing various clicks on the other side. Randy opened the door and she leaned down to hug him in his wheelchair. 

“Uma-Zooma! Welcome home! Long time.” 

Uma giggled. “Only three hours, Randy-Candy.” 

Randy wheeled himself back and opened his mouth to speak before freezing.

“Grampu? You...live?”

“You know Grampu. Come back—always.”

Randy nodded. “Always.”

Uma glanced between the two and cleared her throat. 

“Randy-Candy? Dinner ready?”

“Yes, Uma-Zooma. Randy rule #30: Always have dinner ready for Uma.” He looked at Grampu pointedly. “And guest.”

Grampu looked over Randy. 

“What happened to Randy?”

“Stabbed. Long time ago. Inka. Possessed.”

Grampu shook his head. “Can't trust any hand these days, can we?”

“No. No we can't.”

The tension in the room became uncomfortable, so Uma led Grampu into the dining room while Randy grumbled unintelligibly and rolled off into the kitchen.

Uma set the table quickly and sat close to Grampu. 

“Grampu. What wrong?” she whispered.

“What Uma mean? Grampu happy!”

“No, Grampu and Randy--” 

“Dinner served!” Randy appeared and placed a large casserole dish on the table.

Uma clapped the pads of her fingers together joyfully, momentarily distracted by the hearty-looking meal in front of her.

“Randy-Candy special surprise?”

“You got it, Uma-Zooma!”

Uma and Randy helped themselves to a couple large portions of the meat. 

“Uhhh. What Randy Surprise?” Grampu asked.

“Randy-Candy Surprise,” Uma corrected.

“Squirrel dumplings,” Randy answered through a mouthful of food.

Grampu swallowed thickly. “Uhh, Grampu not hungry. Stomachache. Big day.”

Randy drizzled syrup over his plate and stared across the table at Grampu. 

“So. Grampu. Must have big story.”

“Not so much. Grampu...well Grampu in hiding, so to speak. Long time.”

“What happen?”

“Wait after dinner. Grampu tell all then.”

 

After making sure all the doors and windows were secure, Randy joined Uma and Grampu in the den. Uma had just finished kindling the fire and was making herself comfortable, smiling at Randy as he sat next to her.

Grampu sparked a match and lit his pipe, holding it between his pinky and ring fingers. He puffed away in silence for a few moments before clearing his throat. 

“Uma. Randy. Grampu story. Not easy story to tell.

Story begin 10 years ago. Grampu...tired that day. Otherwise normal day. Phone ring. Grampu answer. It...someone Grampu knew. Said urgent, come quick. Grampu come. Little Grampu know, person not who they say. Evil. Threaten family.”

Grampu paused to puff on his pipe again. 

Uma couldn't keep quiet any longer. “What happen to Grampu?”

Randy shushed her gently, glowering at Grampu.

“Grampu see horrible things.” He nodded towards Uma before turning to Randy. “Uma see horrible things. Uma handle truth.

Hand that took me Changeling. Uma, Randy know what Changeling?”

They both nodded.

“Changeling take Grampu to woods. Try to break Grampu. Grampu not tell all details, but Grampu remember hot fire, hot as sun on summer day.

Uma remember dentist?”

Uma nodded slowly.

“Think dentist pain, multiply 1000. In eyes. In fingers.”

Uma shuddered and wiped a tear from her eye.

“Years pass. Grampu ashamed—Grampu close to telling. But Grampu not tell.”

“Tell what, Grampu?”

“Where Uma.”

Grampu set his pipe down and closed his eyes. 

“One day, Changeling not come back. Grampu wonder why. Hunters? Demons? Grampu never know. All Grampu know, hand come. Grampu saved. Angel maybe. This 4 days ago.”

Uma grasped Randy's pinky finger with her own. 

“Who Changeling?”

 

“Changeling...Mrs. Johnson. She...she help start apocalypse.”

Uma stopped breathing and the memory of her dream came back to her. Mrs. Johnson, crawling away from Grampu and staining the ground red. 

“Grampu sorry, but Grampu tired now. Long day.”

Randy nodded and led Grampu to the guest room, leaving Uma alone with her thoughts.

How could someone that close to them have been so evil? If Mrs. Johnson was a Changeling, then surely anybody could be. Randy could be...no. He would have killed her by now. She shuddered at the thought of Grampu, all alone, keeping them as safe as he could. Mrs. Johnson must have thought that Uma and Randy knew about her. That must mean....there was still a way to send the demons back to Hell. 

 

End Part 1


	2. Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter in my End of Days fic.  
> Supernatural/Oobi Crossover.  
> Un-beta'd.

Randy lay in bed, kept awake by his thoughts and the sound of Grampu's heavy snoring from the next room. If he was honest with himself, he didn't feel entirely safe with him in the house. Uma could take care of herself, but Randy hadn't hunted in years and wasn't sure he'd be up to the task if things got out of hand.

He didn't believe Grampu's sob story, not for one minute. 

There was a time when he would have been like Uma, all doe-eyed and scared at Grampu's account. But Randy had heard things about him--dark things; dabbling in black magic, nightly summonings, even demonic deals, if Kako was to be believed.

He might have disregarded it as hearsay if he hadn't walked in on Grampu covering up a devil's trap on the kitchen floor. 

_“Silly kids. Oobi buy new paint set,”_ Grampu had explained.

Randy had just nodded and made a snack for the kids.

And speaking of food, Grampu hadn't even touched his Randy Surprise. It was possible that the Changeling had kept him well-fed but he doubted that she would care that much. 

The question was, what was Grampu hiding?

 

_3 AM_

Uma tossed and turned in her bed, sighing as she finally resigned to the fact that she wasn't going to get to sleep any time soon. She lit the small candle beside her bed, wrinkling her nose at the smell of sulfur . Tiptoeing through the foyer, she paused at the sound of a pen scratching against paper frantically. 

“Randy? That you?” she whispered.

The sound stopped and she stepped into the study. Randy looked up and smiled feebly, motioning her over. Uma set her candle down on the desk and peered over Randy's shoulder at his journal. He snapped it shut before she could discern more than a few words. She looked at him questioningly.

“Uma.” Randy whispered urgently.

“Yes, Randy?”

“Uma...Randy must tell Uma something. Important. May make Uma sad, but must tell.”

Uma nodded slowly, perching on a nearby chair.

Randy cracked his knuckles and sighed deeply.

“Uma. Randy think...that is. Uma know Randy love Uma, yes?”

Uma nodded again.

“Uma know Randy look out for Uma, always.”

 _Always._ Uma had heard that word before.

“Randy tell Uma, Uma scared,” She pleaded.

Randy reached out and held Uma's pinky with his own. “Randy think Uma should...be careful.”

Uma snorted. “ _Randy._ Uma always careful.

Randy shook his head. “Not what Randy mean. Randy mean Grampu.”

Uma gaped and pulled away. 

“What Randy say?” she demanded.

“Holes in Grampu's story. Suspicious. Uma not blind to this. Randy think Grampu have other plans.”

Uma stood up carefully, her joints shaking. “Randy no trust? _Randy?!_ ”

Randy motioned for her to keep her voice down. “Shh, please _Uma_! Listen to Randy!”

Uma curled her finger on the table and shook her head violently. “No. Listen Uma! No one ever listen Uma! Grampu need us! Randy no see that?”

Uma grabbed her candle and stomped back towards her room, turning to yell just before she left. “GRAMPU FAMILY!”

Uma slammed her bedroom door shut and blew out the candle before throwing it against the wall. Her whole hand was shaking with anger. There was no way Randy could be right. No way. What could his angle be? 

Uma threw some clothes on and grabbed an emergency flashlight and her dagger, seething through her teeth. 

 

Three miles later, deep in the woods, Uma had finally calmed down enough to let herself rest for a few minutes. Her mind was whirling with the drastic changes of the past day, exhausting her hand and mind.

“I wish Grampu had never come back,” she muttered darkly, just before an uninvited sleep overtook her.

It was still dark when a low howl in the distance woke her. She instinctively grabbed for her belt but panicked when she found the sheath empty.

“Tsk, tsk,” she heard a gravelly voice say. Uma spun to her left and she tried to hide the fear in her eyes as she observed the man above her. She had never seen him before but she could sense the depravity and evil in him. 

“Who? How you know who Uma?” She asked as steadily as she could.

The man smirked and toyed with the dagger he had taken from Uma. 

“The name's Crowley. You may have heard of me?” Crowley smiled crookedly.

Uma narrowed her eyes at that. “Uma hear.”

“Good, then I'll spare you the formalities.” 

He paused suddenly to inspect Uma's face, his eyes darkening. The air around them became stuffy and the wind stopped. Just as soon as the fear began to take Uma, he snapped back to his detached self.

Uma's hair blew across her face but she didn't tuck it back, finding it difficult to move or even speak.

“I suppose you wonder what I'm doing here.” Crowley feigned interest in the blade in his hand. “I won't bore you with the details, but here's the nitty gritty, as they say.” He pointed the knife at Uma casually. “I need you to kill Lucifer. The sooner the better.”

Uma raised her eyebrows. “Lucifer? Why Crowley want Lucifer dead?” She crossed her fingers across her chest defiantly. “Why _Uma_ kill him?”

Crowley rolled his eyes at the atrocious grammar.

“Let's just say his childish outbursts have gotten in the way of my not-so-guilty pleasures. And you,” Crowley waved the knife at her, “are, regrettably, my last hope.”

He sighed, seeing the confusion in her face, and continued in a clearly exasperated manner. “Look, you moron, Lucifer needs a vessel. That vessel just so happens to be your dear old grandfather. And in case it isn't clear in your egregiously tiny brain, that means your job is to kill the vessel. You do that, and Lucifer's gone; my title as King is returned, the apocalypse is averted, and blah blah blah, all that good stuff you hands love.”

“Kill Grampu?” Uma scoffed. “What if Uma don't?”

“Because if 'Uma no kill Grampu,' Crowley will tear UMA'S FRIGGIN' HEART OUT!” Crowley plunged her blade into a tree trunk.

The rage dissipated into suave politeness alarmingly fast, making Uma disturbingly more aware of his potential danger.

“Look,” he explained. “I know your people and mine haven't exactly been on the best of terms.”

“Hand War. 1978.” Uma glared in spite of herself. She'd never forgive the demons for the death of her uncle Otto.

“Yes, well. Regardless. Times have changed, Uma.” Crowley turned and brushed a bit of dirt off his shoulder. “If you really want the apocalypse to end, I suggest you take what's being offered.”

Uma had to admit, Crowley's story was plausible. If he was right, Randy's suspicions were confirmed. She hated even to think that Grampu allowed Lucifer to possess his body, but she had a responsibility to do something about it if she could. 

Uma spoke after a minute of silence. “Okay. Uma do.”

Crowley smiled and opened his mouth to speak but she interrupted. “IF, Crowley prove claims.”

 

“For the love of...fine!” Crowley snapped. “Meet me back here tomorrow night, same time. If you're not there, I'll see to it that you have a lovely meeting with a few of my own favorite Hounds.” 

“Why--” Uma began, but Crowley had disappeared before her eyes.

Uma shivered and slung her jacket over herself, staring up at the sky and saying a quick prayer before making her way home.


	3. ...And They Have A Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter, un-beta'd.

Uma sneaked out of the house early the next morning, being sure to bring an extra knife and a warmer coat. She trudged through the woods to the same spot she had met Crowley at before and found him waiting for her, looking uneasy as he puffed on his cigarette. He dropped it and ground it out with his toe as she approached. 

“About time you showed up.” He strode over to Uma and ushered her behind a bush, looking at her sharply. “Don't make a sound until I tell you to.” 

Uma watched as he returned to the clearing and leaned against a tree, lighting another cigarette.

A few minutes passed before she heard leaves crunching nearby and saw a shadow emerge. Uma stifled a gasp as Grampu's face became clear under the moonlight.

“So?” Grampu spoke. “What do you want this time, Crowley?”

Crowley grimaced and took a drag, exhaling slowly through his nose. “Charming as ever, Lucifer.” He addressed him by name mainly for Uma's benefit.

Grampu laughed coldly and, to Uma's horror, did not deny the title. 

“And I see you haven't rid of your unbearable smugness. So get on with it.”

“I have a proposition for you,” Crowley said. 

Grampu raised his eyebrows. 

“You give me Bobby Singer, and I won't put an end your miserable, sorry existence.”

The Devil let out a laugh that sent chills down Uma's spine. She closed her eyes.

Crowley took a step forwards, his eyes tinged red. “We both know what it takes to kill you, and I highly doubt that you want that very,” Crowley paused theatrically, “ _sensitive_ information leaked.”

Grampu smirked. “Now, Crowley. You're losing your negotiating skills. I snap my fingers and you're gone.” He inspected his nails. “I'll let you have the farm boy when I'm done with him. But until little Sammy agrees to become my vessel, Robert Singer stays with me.”

Crowley clenched his fists, bristling but maintaining his cool exterior. “What makes you think your plan will work? The Winchester boys don't give a toss about anyone but each other.”

Grampu smirked. “Your bitterness is showing, Crowley. Just leave it up to me.” 

A sudden gust forced Uma to open her eyes again. Crowley stood alone in the clearing.

“He's gone,” he called out.

Uma wiped a few tears away before coming out of her hiding spot. The demon flicked his cigarette away and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“Well? Enough evidence for you?”

Uma nodded. “What Uma do?”

Crowley pulled a long dagger from the inside of his jacket. The blade was embellished with an intricate script which gleamed slightly underneath the stars. He tapped it flat against his palm a few times, staring hard at Uma. “Before I give this to you, I need your assurance that you'll go through with it.”

Uma's throat closed up. 

“I can't have you mucking things up because of feelings for your dear old grandfather,” he continued.

Uma stuck two fingers out for the blade.

Crowley handed it to her reluctantly. “Understand, you're the only one who can get close enough to finish this off. If you fail, well...just don't.”

Uma studied the blade a moment before securing it in her knapsack. “Uma ask Crowley something?”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “Make it quick.”

“Who farm boy?”

Crowley's eyes flashed. “Just a soul I'd dearly like returned to me.”

Uma stared at him in silence, furrowing her brows. Crowley motioned in the direction of her house. “Now, if you'll excuse me?”

The young hand nodded solemnly and tramped away, leaving the demon alone in the forest.

When she was out of sight, Crowley slumped down against the nearest tree trunk, holding his face in his hands. He was mad to leave his fate, not to mention the worlds', in Uma's hands. So to speak, of course. Crowley sighed. “The things I do for your soul,” he muttered. 

Somewhere above him, an owl hooted. 

“Oh, bugger off,” he said, and promptly set the bird afire.


	4. I Uma. Hear me roar.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final installment of my epic Oobi/Supernatural crossover. Thank the Lord of Kobol I'm done with this.

Uma spent most of the next day preparing for her grisly task. She spent an hour that morning in the mirror, telling herself she had to do this. “Uma brave. Uma do this. Grampu gone. This not Grampu. Kill. Kill.”

At lunchtime, Randy served one of her favorite dishes; dried oats covered in cranberry sauce and stewed rabbit. She sat down across from Grampu, picking at her food.

“Uma?” Grampu asked. 

Uma's head shot up. “Yes, Grampu?”

“Why Uma no eat?”

Randy looked over at her in concern. Uma shrugged. “Uma tired. Rats in Uma's room.”

Randy set his napkin down. “Randy check after lunch.”

“No, no! Randy no worry. Uma deal later.” She smiled weakly. Randy frowned. 

“Okay, if Uma say so.”

“Uma say so.” Uma took a big bite of her oats to avoid any more questions. She stared hard at Grampu as she chewed, looking for any sign of Lucifer in his eyes that would give her courage later. Grampu caught her staring a few bites later but just smiled cheerfully. She cast her eyes back down and they finished the rest of the meal silently.

After dinner, Randy pulled Uma aside. “Uma Zooma? Help Randy-Candy clean dishes?”

Uma nodded and began clearing the table. Once the water was running, Randy leaned over and whispered. “What wrong?”

Uma sighed and whispered back. “Randy...Randy right. Grampu not right.”

Randy took her hand. “Uma? What happen? Grampu hurt Uma? What Grampu do?”

Uma shook her head. “No. Uma find out things. Grampu not right because--” she leaned in closer, “--Lucifer possess Grampu.”

“What?! Randy want Uma leave, now. Safe house 2 miles South.” 

Uma shook her head again. “No! Uma plan. Only Uma can do.”

“What Uma mean? Too dangerous!”

Uma shut the water off before the sink overflowed. “Uma Randy take walk after dishes?”

Randy nodded knowingly.

 

The two made sure that Grampu was asleep before they left. They strolled along a dirt path in silence for half a mile before Uma finally spoke.

“Uma meet Crowley last night.”

Randy stopped and stared. “Crowley? Uma...”

Uma shook her finger. “No, Randy. Let Uma finish. Crowley tell Uma all. Not only that, Uma see with own eyes. Uma knows now.”

“But why Uma?”

“Because Uma only one!” she cried. 

Randy stopped and put his finger around her, reaching up to wipe her tears away. “Randy know Uma smart. Uma do many things. Uma strong. Stronger than Randy.” He chuckled. “But why Crowley no kill?”

She sniffled. “Uma closest to Grampu. Gram—Lucifer no suspect.” She pulled the knife Crowley had given her. “This it. Uma do this and Lucifer gone forever.”

Randy looked at the knife and back up at her. “Randy can't let Uma do this.”

Uma crouched down to hug him. “Only way.”

Randy held her tight before pulling away. He chuckled, wiping his own tears away. “Things fucked, Uma.”

Uma nodded and smiled sadly. “Things fucked. Uma love Randy-Candy. Always.”

“And Randy love Uma-Zooma. Always.”

Randy wheeled along the path next to Uma and they spent what was possibly their last evening together in bittersweet silence.

 

The time had come before Uma knew it. Grampu had drank himself to sleep that night and was passed out by 11:30. Uma spent the next couple hours practicing her stabbing motions with a pillow and popping uppers that she found in Randy's medicine cabinet. 

At 2:00 she was in the process of completely destroying her 4th pillow when she heard a familiar voice behind her. 

“Now, now, what did the pillow ever do to you?” 

Uma whirled around but relaxed slightly when she saw Crowley, his hands behind his back and looking just as prim as the last time she saw him.

“What Crowley want?”

Crowley narrowed his eyes. “What Crowley wants is for you to do your bleeding job already.”

Uma turned around and began cleaning up the pillow shreds. “Uma know. Getting ready.”

“What Uma is doing is procrastinating.” Crowley pinched the bridge of his nose. “If you don't get in there and kill Lucifer, I'll use you as a vessel and do it myself.”

Uma turned back. “Uma do it. Don't Crowley worry.” 

“I'll be back in one hour.” He raised his hand. “Do it quickly. Like ripping off a bandage.” Crowley smirked and snapped his fingers, disappearing before her eyes.

Uma slumped onto her bed and ran her finger along the blade of her knife. “Now or never.”

 

Uma slipped into Grampu's bedroom after her eyes had adjusted and stepped carefully, avoiding the loose floorboards. She was thankful for Grampu's sleep apnea; otherwise he might have heard her heart trying to pound its way out of her chest. Once she reached the edge of the bed, she slowly let the breath she had been holding out. 

She drew her knife and aimed it at his palm. “Goodbye, Grampu,” she whispered.

“Uma?”

Uma gasped and dug the blade into his skin. Lucifer's chuckle was dark and ugly. “You're a feisty little thing.” He raised a finger to fling her across the room. Nothing happened.

Uma smirked. “Uma prepare. Blade paralyze.”

Lucifer growled. “Get on with it then, little girl.”

Uma twisted the knife deeper. “First tell Uma. Why Lucifer choose Grampu?” 

Lucifer laughed loudly at that. “Crowley didn't tell you?” He sighed. “Didn't you know that angels need to get permission to use a vessel? Grampu was _more_ than willing to let me use his.”

Uma dug the tip in. “Lucifer lying.”

“Grampu wanted power, Uma,” he continued. “I promised him that, as long as he gave me what I wanted.”

Uma closed her eyes briefly. “What about Mrs. Johnson?”

“Who? I don't fucking know. Now are you going to stab me or not?”

“Why so eager?”

Lucifer smiled. “The sooner you do this, the sooner I can come back. I will come back, Uma. And you'll be the first person I visit when I do.”

Uma shook her head. “Lie. This kill Lucifer.” 

Uma tensed, disturbed at seeing Lucifer's smile on her Grampu's face. 

Without any more warning, she pulled the knife back over her head and stabbed it into Grampu's heart. His body glowed a bright orange that lit up the room. Lucifer's face twisted erratically and decayed before her, one of his eyeballs falling out and rolling to the floor by Uma's feet. He screeched violently before his face collapsed into a putrefied mess of burnt skin and bone. The light in the room faded but Grampu's flesh was still smoldering and was starting to fuse into the bedsheets. 

The silence that followed was unnerving. Uma collapsed onto the floor, coming into view with the eyeball. It was looking back at her.

Uma was shook out of her stupor by the sound of slow clapping behind her. Crowley was smirking widely and stepped over her to inspect the remains. He pulled the knife out and wiped the blood off on a clean handkerchief before pocketing the knife. He patted the breast pocket of his jacket and held a hand out for Uma. 

She looked at him in a daze but took his hand and got up. 

“Well done. I have to be honest, I didn't expect you to go through with it. I'm pleasantly surprised.”

Uma glared at him. “Glad somebody happy.”

Crowley frowned in mock sympathy. “Cheer up, love. Lucifer's gone. The apocalypse is over. You can go back to--” he paused. “--whatever it is that you do, and I can go back to ruling Hell.”

Uma looked up. “Can Crowley bring Grampu back?”

“I very well could. Technically. But I don't think you'd want that. You do realize that angels need permission to inhabit a vessel, don't you? Your dear grandfather was a willing participant in this whole half-baked scheme of Lucifer's.”

Uma's blood froze and she sat back down on the floor. Crowley raised his eyebrows. “Yes, well. Mull that over, won't you? I've got to get back to the office. My dear churlish hunter has been having a Hell of a time lately, pun intended.” He smiled. “Can't keep him waiting, can I?” 

Crowley snapped his fingers and was gone, leaving Uma alone to quietly sob.

 

**EPILOGUE**

_4 months later_

Uma sat on the bench just in front of the cabin, holding a mug of hot tea between her fingers. Randy sat in his chair next to her, watching the leaves sweep through the yard and dance in the wind. The sun was lowering behind a hill, casting shades of red and yellow on the land. 

Randy glanced over at Uma, who seemed to be studying the newly-bloomed flowers. He chuckled. “Uma.”

Uma turned to him quizzically. “Yes, Randy?”

“Randy just think,” he said cryptically.

Uma grinned. “What, Randy-Candy?”

He chuckled again. “Randy think Uma find hand one day. Maybe hand take _Uma_ hand in marriage.”

Uma blushed. “ _Randy!_ ”

“Uma coolest hand Randy knows.”

Uma shook her head, then smiled mysteriously. “Well, Crowley handsome.” She looked at Randy from under her lids, stifling a laugh.

He gaped at her. “Uma!”

Uma burst out laughing. “I'm just kidding!”

Randy froze. “What Uma say?”

“Uma just kidding.”

Randy shook his head and wheeled over to her. “No, Uma said “I.. _I'm_ just kidding.” 

“What?”

“Uma use auxiliary verb!” Randy grinned and slapped his knee. “Randy feel like laughing. So proud of Uma.”

Uma stared at him a moment before grinning back. “Uma no believe.” She stood up and shouted to the hills. “I am Uma! I am a hand!” Tears of joy streamed down her cheeks. 

“Everything's going to be okay, Randy-Candy.”


End file.
